How To Discover Your Love Language
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Everyone gives and receives love differently, some people prefer it when their partner communicates their love and affection through compliments or other verbal expressions, whilst others prefer their partner to express their love through spending meaningful time together.
Knowing your love language and your significant other’s love language can help you to understand each other in more-depth and also lead to a healthier relationship because you’ll know how to make one another feel loved and appreciated.
That being said, it’s not just romantic relationships that love languages apply to either, they’re also important within platonic relationships too.
To help you out, the team here at Prestige have done a full run-down on the 5 different love languages and how you can discover yours.
What Is A Love Language?
You’ve no doubt had someone ask you “what’s your love language?” or scrolled down your TikTok feed and seen a video about the different love languages, but it may be a concept you’ve not fully understood.
In short, we all have different ways of showing people in our life how much they mean to us, and we all have a preferred way of these people expressing their love to us too.
The 5 different types of expressing and receiving love, otherwise known as the different love languages were first introduced by marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992, within his book “The 5 Love Languages”.
According to his theory, everyone may relate to each love language, but there will be one in particular which will resonate with you the most, which is called your primary love language.
The Different Love Languages Explained
Sometimes within romantic relationships people can complain about not feeling loved or appreciated by their partner, but this could be because the other person’s good intentions get lost in translation, due to having a different primary love language.
For example, if your primary love language is quality time, you may feel most adored when your significant other actively wants to spend time with you, but for someone who’s love language is physical touch, they may feel most loved when their partner holds their hand in public.
Understanding your own love language will help you to identify what actions make you feel loved and special whether it be in a romantic relationship or in platonic relationships.
On the other hand, understanding other people’s love language can help you to understand how to express love in a way that the person on the receiving end finds meaningful!
How To Discover Your Love Language
According to Chapman’s theory, depending on your personality type, you will have a preferred way of expressing and receiving love and appreciation from the people in your life from romantic partners to friends to family members.
Below we’ve highlighted what the 5 different love languages are so you can discover yours, as well as determine your significant other’s primary love language, which can help to strengthen your relationship.
1. Words Of Affirmation
When someone’s primary love language is words of affirmation, they appreciate receiving compliments, kind words of encouragement, uplifting quotes and frequent “I love yous” from their significant other the most.
People who give and receive love through words of affirmation, value both verbal communication as well as written communication, so they will value positive text messages from their partner and love notes highly.
So, if you love receiving compliments on how great you look by your partner or you really value being told how much you mean to your significant other, then it may be that the love language which resonates with you the most is words of affirmation.
2. Quality Time
Someone with the primary love language of quality time feels most loved when their partner actively wants to make plans with them, and they feel at their happiest when they’re truly present with their significant other.
Whether it’s going on dates together, doing activities with one another or even just relaxing with a film on, togetherness is super important to those with this love language and is a great way to show them that you care.
It’s not just about “showing up either” it’s also important to give your significant other your undivided attention.
This means ditching scrolling on your phone when you’re having one-on-one time, and focusing your attention on them through active listening and eye contact!
3. Physical Touch
Physical touch is a pretty straightforward love language, it’s all about expressing and receiving affection through touch and physical closeness such as holding hands, kissing, hugging and other physical expressions.
People with this love language prefer to use body language and touch to express their love, and will often show physical affection to their partner and enjoy receiving it back.
If nothing says love quite like cuddling your partner after a long day, or you feel most safe and secure when your partner holds your hand whilst you’re both out and about, you’ll probably find that your primary love language is physical touch.
4. Receiving Gifts
Out of all of the 5 different love languages, receiving gifts is considered the most misunderstood because people can view it as materialistic, but this isn’t the case.
If your primary love language is receiving gifts then it means that you feel most loved and appreciated when receiving thoughtful presents from your significant other, family or friends.
On the other hand, you also enjoy demonstrating your love and affection for others through gift giving, with the emphasis being about the sentimental value, rather than the size or prize of the gift – think quality, not quantity.
Whether it’s surprising your partner with tickets to see their favourite artist, buying them flowers, or just picking something up from the shop because you thought of them, this love language is all about giving to those that you love, and not just for special occasions.
5. Acts Of Service
The love language of acts of service centres around actions speaking louder than words, and is all about doing something for your partner you know they will appreciate, and vice versa.
Whether it’s cooking them their favourite dinner, offering to help them with running errands, drawing them a bath after a stressful day, or even just watering their plants for them, these are all examples of communicating your love through acts of service.
For those with this primary love language, they prefer their partner to show them that they care about their happiness through their actions, which are done spontaneously or without asking.
If your motto is show me you love me, rather than tell me you love me, your primary love language is acts of service.
Discovering your love language is an important tool that can help improve your existing relationships as well as help you to build better ones.
Hopefully now you know your love language and understand what things make you feel special, and what you can do to make your partner feel this way.
If you’re still not sure what your love language is after reading our guide, you can take the online quiz on The 5 Love Languages website.